


Devil's Home

by i_write_absolute_trash778



Category: Fall Out Boy, Green Day, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, High School AU, I stg, M/M, Pointless, Swearing, This is chaos, cheese whiz - Freeform, emo chat, guess what more characters!!, homo chat hell, old meme references, so much weed, to you and to myself, train wreck, why did i do this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2019-08-20 07:51:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 7,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16551884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_write_absolute_trash778/pseuds/i_write_absolute_trash778
Summary: The emo group chat nobody asked for. Shout at me in the comments.





	1. fuck you

**Author's Note:**

> Bear with me and my old ass memes. They're probably all dead but even so it's fun to write.

_> Gerard Way has started a chat! <_

_> Gerard Way has changed his name to gee spot! <_

_> gee spot has named the chat  **Devil's Home**! <_

_> gee spot has invited  **Frank Iero** , **Mikey Way** , **Brendon Urie** ,_ _and_ **Josh Dun** _to the chat! < _

 

_gee spot: hi fuckers_

_>   **Frank Iero** has joined the chat! <_

_Frank Iero: why tf am i here_

_gee spot: youre here in hell!_

_Frank Iero: yes ik but rlly why_

_>   **Mikey Way** has joined the chat! <_

_Mikey Way: y are we here_

_gee spot: srsly u guys are no fun_

**_> Brendon Urie _ ** _has joined the chat! <_

_Brendon Urie: WHASSUP DICKHEADS_

_gee spot: hai brend_

_> Brendon Urie has changed his name to Satan! <_

_Satan: hello my fren_

_Mikey Way: *friend_

_> Satan has changed Mikey Way's name to dis bich no fun! <_

_dis bich no fun: fuck u_

_Satan: fuck me_

_Frank Iero: now now thats just gross stfu_

_> gee spot has changed Frank Iero's name to no ur gross! <_

_no ur gross: fucker_

_gee spot: im not sorry_

_>   **Josh Dun** has joined the chat! <_

_Josh Dun: wtf is this_

_Satan: hell ofc_

_dis bich no fun: leave while u still can_

_Josh Dun: o idk this looks interesting_

_no ur gross: ITS NOT ITS FUCKING HELL_

_Satan: well now ur here lets change it up shall we_

_no ur gross: NO_

_> Satan has changed Josh Dun's name to dunwiththistrash! < _

_dunwiththistrash: its not that bad_

_dis bich no fun: are u sure abt tht_

_gee spot: guess who we all r_

_dunwiththistrash: dis bich no fun is mikey cuz hes just no fun anyways_

_Satan: YES PREACH_

_dis bich no fun: fuck u_

_dunwiththistrash: gee spot is gee like could this b more obvious and Satan is brend_

_dunwiththistrash: and idek who no ur gross is_

_gee spot: frank_

_dis bich no fun: fronk_

_no ur gross: fuck u all_

_no ur gross: dun i cant believe ur going with this shit_

_dunwiththistrash: can i invite a friend?_

_Satan: k_

_> dunwiththistrash has invited Tyler Joseph to the chat! <_

_< Tyler Joseph joined the chat! <_

_Tyler Joseph: wtf_

_> dunwiththistrash has changed Tyler Joseph's name to tyguy!< _

_tyguy: josh??_

_dunwiththistrash: yusssss_

_no ur gross: leave while u still can this is hell_

_Satan: no_

_Satan: stay_

_tyguy: um idk whats happening but im staying for it_

_no ur gross: fuck u!!_

_gee spot: fuck ME_

_no ur gross: no ur gross_

_> gee spot has changed no ur gross' name to i should fuck gee! <_

_i should fuck gee: no way in hell_

_tyguy: lol_

_Satan: awwwe i ship it_

_i should fuck gee: NO! DO NOT SHIP THIS THIS IS NOT A THING_

_> gee spot has shared a photo file. Click to open. <_

_dunwiththistrash: is this srsly what i think it is_

_tyguy: is this frank blowing gee_

_Satan: holy fuck THIS BE GAY_

_dis bich no fun: so it wasnt gay before?_

_Satan: yeah it was but rlly frank the bathroom_

_i should fuck gee: yeah i mean you want me to blow him in the living room on the couch?_

_dunwiththistrash: i mean it'd be great comedy and blackmail material_

_i should fuck gee: dick_


	2. we're waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray, Patrick, and Pete. Shit's going down.

_> Satan invited **Ray Toro** , and  **Dallon Weekes** to the chat! <_

  
_> Ray Toro has joined the chat! <_

 

_> Dallon Weekes has joined the chat! <_

  
  
_Satan: hi and welcome to hell_

  
_Ray toro: what the actual fuck_

  
_Dallon Weekes: what is this_

  
_Satan: hell duh_

 _Ray Toro: well we know that but I_  
_really_

  
_Satan: this group chat I made_

_  
_Dallon Weekes_ : and who's i_

  
_Satan: b_

_Satan: brendon u no?_

  
_Dallon Weekes: o ok_

 

  
_Ray Toro: do I not get a nickname? everyone else seems to have 1_

  
_> Satan has changed Ray Toro's name to afroboi! <_

  
_Afroboi: afroboi!?!!?????? Wtf b_

  
_Satan: no I'm satan_

  
_Afroboi: fuck u_

  
_Afroboi: well if I get a name Dallon gets one too_

  
_> > afroboi has changed Dallon Weekes' name to crybaby!_

  
_crybaby: wtf_

  
_afroboi: can I invite some friends_

  
_Satan: yh who_

 

_afroboi: Pete and Patrick_

  
_Satan: k_

  
_> > afroboi has invited Pete Wentz and Patrick Stump to the chat! _

  
_Pete Wentz: HI FUCKERS_

  
_Patrick Stump: what is this_

  
_> > afroboi has changed Patrick Stump's name to confused! _

  
_Confused: youre right_

  
_> >Confused has changed Pete Wentz's name to bleach boi_

  
_Bleach boi: were you referring to my "drink bleach" joke_

  
_Confused: idek_

_bleach boi: o ok_

  
_Satan: STFU AND KISS ALREADY COME TF ON_

  
_confused: ..._

  
_Satan: WE ARE WAITINGGG_

  
_> >dunwiththistrash, dis bich no fun, I should fuck gee, and gee spot joined the chat! _

  
_Gee spot: u fuckers started without me?!? Wtf_

  
_Confused: they invited me and pete too_

_gee spot: brendon u fUcKeR_

_dis bich no fun: BRENDON YOU FUCKER_

_Satan: sorry :'(_

_Satan: but srsly wht do u hav against pete n pat?_

_dis bich no fun: NOTHING JUST WARN ME FIRST JESUS_

_bleach boi: AS I WAS SAYING_

_bleach boi: also hi mikey :)_

_dis bich no fun: stfu pete_

_bleach boi :((( ok_

_crybaby: u were saying anything??_

_bleach boi: stfu dallon_

_afroboi: lmao_

_confused: just let him talk_

_bleach boi: THANK YOU_

_bleach boi: as i was saying or rather b was saying_

_Satan: yeah u guys are cute together i mean the king of emo and the french foren exchange student wat cld go wrong_

_dis bich no fun: foren_

_dunwiththistrash: F O R E N_

_i should fuck gee: *foreign_

_Satan: whatever theyre cute and they should get together_

_gee spot: um kiung of emo? kiss my aSS pete u ware too much eyeliner anywayas_

_bleach boi: so many spelling mistake_

_gee spot: stfu pete_

_bleach boi: so many_

_gee spot: OML STFU PETE LET ME FUCKING TALK_

_Afroboi: yeah pete_

_bleach boi: excuse me who fucking asked you bush head_

_> Satan changed Afroboi's name to bush head! < _

_bush head: wow_

_bush head: wheres dallon_

_crybaby: here_

_Satan: oh hi_

_afroboi: DALLON JUST STOOD UP AND SHOUTED "IM ON THE INTERNET" RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF ENGLISH_

_afroboi: AND THEN SAT BACK DOWN_

_afroboi: AND THEN MIKEY GOT UP AND YELLED ME TOO AND THREW HIS BOOK OUT THE WINDOW_

_Satan: holy shit_

_crybaby: hey at least ms davis didnt take my phone_

_dis bich no fun: the book was boring_

_dis bich no fun: it was the catcher in the rye_

 

_confused: UM THATS A REALLY GOOD BOOK_

_dis bich no fun: the hell it is its boring af_

_gee spot: ur boring af_

_dunwiththistrash: ur boring af_

_gee spot: UR GAY AF_

_Satan: we all are gay af_

_bleach boi: are u sure abt that_

_Satan: UR FUCKING GAY AS SHIT_

_bleach boi: no i mean_

_bleach boi: hang on_

_> bleach boi has removed and silenced confused from the chat! <_

_crybaby: wtf pete_

_bleach boi: well i wanted to tell u guys in person but u know awkward n shit_

_bush head: k_

_dis bich no fun: do go on_

_bleach boi: ik were all pat's friends but i wanted to see if it was ok by u guys 2_

_bleach boi: i like patrick and i really want to go out_

_> > dis bich no fun has left the chat!_

_Satan: CAN I PICK THEM OR CAN I PICK THEM_

_gee spot: you cant pick em_

_crybaby: oof_

_afroboi: is everyone going to ignore that mikey just left?_

_Satan: YEs_

_Satan: PETERICK CONFIRMED_

_Satan: now delete these messages so my boi 'trick doesn't find out ;)))))_

 


	3. gone sexual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More insanity. And what happened to Mikey's book?

_> dis bich no fun, tyguy, dunwiththistrash, Satan, i should fuck gee, crybaby, bush head, gee spot, confused and bleach boi joined the chat! <_

_crybaby: wow everyones here at the same time this is weird_

_Satan: its AWESOME!!!!_

_dis bich no fun: im in lunch detention_

_bush head: why?_

_dis bich no fun: I THREW MY FUCKING BOOK OUT THE WINDOW DICKHEAD_

_gee spot: damn calm down_

_bush head: yeah as far as i know my head is a bush not a dick_

_dis bich no fun: fuck u_

_> dis bich no fun has changed bush head's name to dickhead! < _

_dickhead: youre really funny mikey_

_dis bich no fun: ikr_

_Satan: it said dallon joined whrere is he_

_dunwiththistrash: whrere isnt a word_

_Satan: STFU JOSH UR NOT MY SPELLCHECKER_

_crybaby: its * where *_

_crybaby: and im right here_

_Satan: o hi_

_tyguy: fuck this_

_dunwiththistrash: wat?_

_tyguy: im in math and its terrible_

_tyguy: so im leaving_

_dickhead: ty did u just srsly walk right out_

_tyguy: well i said i was leaving_

_dickhead: shes sending pete after u_

_tyguy: shit_

_bleach boi: TYLER GET THE FUCK BACK HERE  
_

_tyguy: nO_

_bleach boi: WHY THO_

_tyguy: MATH SUCKS AND IM NOT GOING BACK_

_confused: where are you???_

_tyguy: bathroom_

_dunwiththistrash: WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT NOW PETE KNOWS  
_

_tyguy: sHiT_

_tyguy: I LIED IM IN THE CAFETERIA_

_bleach boi: bathroom it is_

_tyguy: fuck off pete_

_bleach boi: nononono_

_dis bich no fun: ha_

_bleach boi: PATRICK HELP ME_

_confused: IM IN STUDY HALL_

_bleach boi: shit_

_bleach boi: MIKEY HELP ME_

_dis bich no fun: IM IN DETENTION YOU ASS_

_bleach boi: whatever im going back to class ill tell davis i couldn't find him_

_tyguy: hi its josh on ty's phone_

_dunwiththistrash: hi its ty on josh's phone_

_gee spot: hi its gee on frank's dick_

_dis bich no fun: WHOA WHOA WHOA  
_

_bleach boi: GONE SEXUAL_

_dickhead: GONE SMEXUAL_

_crybaby: WTF IS SMEXUAL_

_Satan: me_

_crybaby: stfu brendon srsly_

_Satan: no sorry_

_dickhead: wish i was sitting on frank's dick_

_gee spot: FRANK IS MINE_

_i should fuck gee: dont i get a say in this_

_gee spot: NO_

_dickhead: ctfo i was joking_

_dickhead: i want pete's dick_

_bleach boi: EXCUSE ME_

_tyguy: ok i got my phone back_

_dunwiththistrash: I FOUDN MIKEYS BOOK_

_crybaby: foudn? no its *found* my child_

_dunwiththistrash: STFU ITS IN THE COURTYARD_

_Satan: its mine now im coming_

_dis bich no fun: DONT U FUCKING DARE ITS MINE  
_

_Satan: awwww_


	4. spookp season

_> > Satan and gee spot have joined the chat! _

 

  
_gee spot: hey b_

  
_Satan: HI BITCH_

  
_gee spot: wow hi_

  
_gee spot: look it's almost October which means_

  
_Satan: SPOOK SEASON_

  
_Satan: SPOOK SEASON MY BOIZZZZZ_

  
_gee spot: spook season yes you are correct_

  
_Satan: does that mean scaring the fuck out of some little kids_

  
_gee spot: perhaps_

  
_Satan: YESSSSSSSSS BOIIIIIIIIIIIIII_

  
_gee spot: YESSSSSSSSSS BOIIIIIIIIII_

  
_Satan: so Mikey_

  
_Satan: is he doing his haunted house this year?_

  
_gee spot: he better be or I stg will break his tiny ass_

  
_Satan: and I will help you_

_> > I should fuck gee has joined the chat!_

_I should fuck gee: WHASSUP BITCHES IT BE SPOOKP SEASON_

  
_gee spot: excuse me SPOOKP_

  
_Satan: oof frank_

_> > gee spot has changed I should fuck gee's name to spookp season!_

_Spookp season: dandy gerard_

  
_Gee spot: np love <333 _

  
_Satan: so spook season and Mikey's haunted house_

  
_Gee spot: yea so Mikey says he wants to have it be like an asylum themed thing you know?_

  
_Spookp season: MAYBE WE SHOULD FUCKING ASK MIKEY_

_> >Spookp season has invited dis bich no fun to the chat! _

_dis bich no fun: w a t do you fuckin want you duck_

  
_Gee spot: you duck_

  
_dis bich no fun: u duck_

_> >spookp season has changes gee spot's name to u duck! _

_U duck: U FUCKING DUCK_

  
_Spookp season: yea that's me_

  
_> > dunwiththistrash and bandit0 have joined the chat!_

 

_Dunwiththistrash: whoa Ty when did u change ur name_

  
_bandit0: ;))) you'll never know_

  
_Satan: READ THE SHIT ABOVE BC ITS IMPORTANT FOR SPOOK SEASON_

  
_Spookp season: yea hence my name lmao_

  
_bandit0:... Mikey has a haunted house??_

  
_Dunwiththistrash: apparently yes_

  
_dis bich no fun: YES I DO BITCH_

  
_dunwiththistrash: damn ctfo_

  
_Dis bich no fun: NO_

_u duck: CLAM THE FIUCK DOWN JMIEKY WAY_

_Satan: "jmieky"_

_Spookp season: "clam the fiuck down"_

_u duck: FUCK YOU ALL_

_dun with this trash :D :D :D :D :D_

_bandit0: whats up josh_

_> > dun with this trash has removed bandit0 from the chat!_

_Spookp season: whoa wtf did u do tht for_

_dunwiththistrash: look i wanna surprise ty for his bday_

_dunwiththistrash: its on monday_

_Satan: w a t_

_Spookp season: thats a good idea i'll bring the booze_

_Satan: IVE GOT THE WEED_

_dunwiththistrash: um ok well there goes my cake plan_

_U duck: NO STILL BRING CAKE_

_dunwiththistrash: i guess it would b more fun with cake :)_

_Satan: YOU ARE CORRECT MY SON_

_dunwiththistrash: now delete these messages we dont want ty seeing them_

_dunwiththistrash: its supposed to b a surprise_

_dis bich no fun: k gotchu_

_> > Spookp season invited bandit0 to the chat! _

_bandit0: y did u remove me josh :((((((((_

 

_dunwiththistrash: sorry_

_bandit0: its ok i forgive u_

_u duck: ..._

_Satan: THAT WAS SO FUCKING PURE_

_dis bich no fun: stfu brendon_


	5. fuck u fuck ur life fuck your fucking cow i dont care anymore just leave me alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey and Pete's relationship has taken a nasty turn, while Patrick is stuck in the middle. things are being said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's really short but things are said :D

_> > bleach boi has created a new chat!_

_> > bleach boi has invited  _dis bich no fun to the chat!__

_dis bich no fun: oh hi pete_

_dis bich no fun: bye pete_

_> > dis bich no fun has left the chat!_

_bleach boi: aw hell no youre getting back here bitch_

_> > bleach boi has invited dis bich no fun to the chat! _

_> > bleach boi has changed the chat settings! _

_dis bich no fun: i cant fucking leave wtf pete_

_bleach boi: we need to talk_

_dis bich no fun: about what? we have nothing to say to each other._

_bleach boi: thats a lie and you know it mikey_

_dis bich no fun: pete lets just not_

_bleach boi: i just need you to be decent to patrick_

_dis bich no fun: i dont have problems with patrick hes my friend_

_dis bich no fun: youre what i have an issue with_

_bleach boi: i said i was sorry what more do i have to say!?_

_dis bich no fun: sorry doesnt fucking cut it pete wentz and you fucking know it now change the goddamn settings so i can leave_

_bleach boi: ok :(_

_dis bich no fun: fuck u fuck ur life fuck your fucking cow i dont care anymore just leave me alone now goodbye_

_> > dis bich no fun has left the chat!_

_bleach boi: bye mikey_

_bleach boi: i just didnt tell you i still love you_

_> > bleach boi has left the chat! _


	6. fUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of anorexia and depression

_bandit0: WHAT THE FUCK JOSH_

_Satan: wHOA TYJOS MAKING A SCENE_

_dis bich no fun: o fuck what happened ty_

_dunwiththistrash: i didnt mean it!!!!!!!_

_bandit0: tHIS BITCH_

_bandit0: THIS BITCH SAID DEPRESSION ISNT AS BAD AS PPL MAKE IT OUT TO BE_

_Confused: no no no no why would you say that josh!!!_

_dunwiththistrash: i wAS TRYING TO SAY SOME PEOPLE ARE OVERDRAMATIC ABOUT IT WHEN THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE REAL THING_

_Confused: BUT THAT'S NOT THE WAY YOU SAY IT_

_> > U duck, Spookp season, and bleach boi have joined the chat!_

_U duck: just read the messages_

_U duck: and wtf josh_

_bandit0: YOU KNOW I USED TO B ANOREXIC AND DEPRESSED AND YOU DONT KNOW HOW BAD IT IS_

_bandit0: ITS JUST NOT SOMETHING U JOKE ABOUT_

_bandit0: you know what I'm so done_

_> > bandit0 has left the chat!_

_Spookp season: wtf_

_> > crybaby and dickhead have joined the chat!_

_crybaby: fUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW_

_Satan: OMG BITCH ME TOO_

_dickhead: WTF_

_bleach boi: i turn off my phone for ONE MOTHERFUCKING MINUTE and we went to hell???_

_Satan: you have forgotten we are already in hell my child_

_bleach boi: ur not my child_

_> > bleach boi have changed Satan's name to my child!_

_my child: thought u said i wasnt ur child_

_bleach boi: not mine_

_bleach boi: mikeys_

_dis bich no fun: YOU FUCKER NO THIS INFIDEL IS NOT MY SOn_

_my child: wELL OKAY THEN THANKS DAD_

_crybaby: daddy ;)_

_dickhead: kinky_

_U duck: nO_

_U duck: NO KINKS NO KINKS FOR MIKEY NOPE NOPE NOPE_

_dis bich no fun: yeah pls no_

_bleach boi: pls_

_dis bich no fun: stfu pete no one asked u_

_bleach boi: fuck you_

_my child: fuck me ;))_

_my child: WAIT HOLD UP I HAVE AN ANOUNCHE MENT_

_crybaby: wHAT SUPERB SPELLING_

_my child: OMF STFU DALLON THIS IS IMPORTANT_

_my child: i just saw the most adorable boy in history walk into my class_

_my child: OMF HIS NAME IS RYAN WTFFFFFFF_

_dunwiththistrash: o ryan hes in my math class_

_my child: HE IS PERFECT_

_> > my child invited Ryan Ross to the chat!_

_> > crybaby has left the chat!_

_Ryan Ross: what is this and who are you_

_dunwiththistrash: ROLL CALL_

_bleach boi: pete wentz_

_Confused: patrick stump_

_dunwiththistrash: josh dun_

_dickhead: ray toro_

_dis bich no fun: mikey way_

_u duck: gerard way_

_Spookp season: frank iero_

_my child: brendon urie :)_

_dunwiththistrash: and tyler used to be here he was bandit0_

_my child: where the fuck is dallon he was crybaby_

_Ryan Ross: he left it looks like but srsly tho why am i here_

_Confused: read the messages from before_

_Ryan Ross: ...._

_Ryan Ross: ur all gey af_

_my child: wld u like to b gey with us ;))))))_

_Confused: OH MY FUCK BRENDON YOU DIDNT DELETE THE MESSAGES THAT WERE BASICALLY WORSHIPPING RYAN YOU FUCKASS_

_bleach boi: o fuk_

_my child: O FUK_

_my child: SORRY PLS DONT THINK IM CREEPY OR SHIT I JUST THINK YOU LOOK PRETTY OKAY PLS DONT HATE ME_

_Ryan Ross: i dont hate u_

_my child: OH THANK GOD_

_dickhead: so we're all just gonna ignore the fact that dallon left okay_

_dickhead: hang on what about the party we said we were going to have_

_U duck: o the one yesterday brendon said he was gonna bring weed to_

_Spookp season: i suck dick for cocaine_

_bleach boi: daddy ;)))))_

_U duck: NOPE NONE OF THAT THANK YOU_

_> > Confused has removed bleach boi from the chat! _

_U duck: damn pat u got to him first_

_Ryan Ross: he deserved it_

_my child: O SHIT IM TELLING PETE HE JUST GOT CLAPBACKED BY THE NEW KID_

_my child: pete says fuk u_

_Ryan Ross: tell pete to suck my dick_

_> > Confused has removed Ryan Ross from the chat!_

_Confused: NOPE_

_> > my child has added Ryan Ross to the chat!_

_my child: nO patrick we dont DO that here_

_Confused: >.< _

_u duck: does this mean joshler is over_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I don't think Tyler Joseph was anorexic or had depression bUT HE MIGHT HAVe. For the drama, I said he had. My apologies, don't rip off my head.


	7. P U B L I C  S E R V I C E  A N N O U N C E M E N T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Hi guys! This particular chapter  _isn't_ actually a chapter for the story, it's more like a  _P U B L I C  S E R V I C E_

 _A N N O U N C E M E N T._ I wanted to give you guys my information for Wattpad and Tumblr

so you can find me there.

 

My Tumblr: https://psychedelicharlequin.tumblr.com/ 

My Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/the_on_crack_parade

Patrick Stump creating a song using GarageBand: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rLcAHVu5JU 

 

Annnnnd that's about it! The (official) seventh chapter of Devil's Home will be out

sometime this week. See ya!!  


 

 


	8. No uh uh mr weekes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was so short. I wrote this on Christmas vacation so not much is getting done

_Ryan Ross has invited Ray Toro, Dallon Weekes, Frank Iero, and Patrick Stump to the chat!_

_Ryan Ross: guys_   
_Ryan Ross: GUYS WE NEED TO TALK_   
_Frank Iero: wtf do you want ry_   
_Ryan Ross: look so brendon from the main chat right_   
_Dallon Weekes: oh we're talking abt brendon? Lol I'm out_   
_Dallon Weekes has left the chat!_   
_Ryan Ross: wtf?_   
_Ray Toro: no uh uh mr Weekes get back here_   
_Ray Toro has invited Dallon Weekes to the chat!_   
_Patrick Stump: what the actual hell Dallon??_   
_Dallon Weekes: would it surprise u that I don't want to talk abt it_   
_Ray Toro: no now tell us_   
_Dallon Weekes: no_   
_Dallon Weekes has left the chat!_   
_Ryan Ross: at this point it's prob useless to try and get him to join again_   
_Patrick Stump: alright then what did u want to tell us?_   
_Ryan Ross: well brendon from the main chat you know_   
_Frank Iero: YES WE KNOW_   
_Ryan Ross: ok well I read back through the texts u were warning me abt Patrick_   
_Ryan Ross: and I think it's cute but how do I even respond to that_   
_Frank Iero: ignore him?? that's what we all do_   
_Ryan Ross: won't that get suspicious after awhile_   
_Frank Iero: no_   
_Frank Iero: let's get back to the main chat, they'll get suspicious_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably I won't get much done over winter break, so until the new year not much will get written. Sorry for its shortness!


	9. #stophashtagging2k18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oof

_my child: GUESS WHO I FUCKED LAST NIGHT_

_Confused: oh bremdom no_

_bleach boi: CONDOM_

_> > U duck changed my child's name to CONDOM NO!_

_CONDOM NO: IM NOT EVEN MAD RLLY BUT SRSLY GUESS WHO I FUCKED_

_CONDOM NO: also dom ;))_

_Confused: if its ryan_

_U duck: it IS_

_bleach boi: we all knew it was ryan_

_dunwiththistrash: BRENDON ITS BEEN TWO DAYS AND U FUCKED RYAN ALREADY_

_CONDOM NO: hells yeah_

_dunwiththistrash: hey pete 5 dollars brendons lying and he bottomed_

_bleach boi: ur on_

_U duck: #brendonbottomed2k18  
_

_bleach boi: #brendonbottomed2k19_

_CONDOM NO: no nO I DID NOT BOTTOM THAT IS INACCURATE_

_CONDOM NO: also who told u that_

_Ryan Ross: um_

_dunwiththistrash: YOU NEED A NICKNAME SON_

_> > dunwiththistrash changed Ryan Ross' name to this man totally tops goddamn and what a top!_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: wtf josh_

_CONDOM NO: nO i TOppEODP !_

_bleach boi: #stroke_

_Confused: #stophashtagging_

_Spookp season: ITS NEW YEARS EVE FUCKERS IMMA HAVE A LIT PARTY AT MY HOUSE BRING WEED_

_CONDOM NO: hell yeah!!_

_CONDOM NO: i will prove to you all that i top_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: he bottoms #brendonbottoms2k18_

_CONDOM NO: WTF RYAN_

_CONDOM NO: THIS IS BETRAYAL_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this was so crappy ITS NEW YEARS EVE FUCKERS HAPPY 20-FUCKING-19 YEAH KIDS


	10. train wreck: the group chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This title was commented on the last chapter and I thought: I need that as a title.
> 
> This is what happened at the new year's party. (PART ONE)

_Confused: i texted tyler hes coming_

_dunwiththistrash: he is?? omg patrick thank you so much im gonna apologize and give him his birthday gift I forgot to give him_

_CONDOM NO: yeah we had the cake... bUT DALLON DROPPED IT  
_

_bleach boi: wait dallons here?_

_crybaby: never left_

_Confused: you literally did dallon_

_dunwiththistrash: YOU FUCKING DROPPED THE CAKE I WILL STG KILL YOU ALL_

_dickhead: now you know how we feel_

_tricky rick: tru tru_

_u duck: we should have classier nicknames_

_Spookp season: i got this_

_> > Spookp season has changed Confused's name to tricky rick! _

_> > Spookp season change u duck's name to bae! _

_> > Spookp season changed bleach boi's name to eyeliner boi! _

_> > Spookp season changed crybaby's name to dal the pal! _

_> > Spookp season changed dunwiththistrash's name to joosh! _

_> > Spookp season changed dickhead's name to fro! _

_> > Spookp season changed dis bich no fun's name to milky _

_> > Spookp season changed their own name to frnk! _

_tricky rick: wtf frank_

_eyeliner boi: i'LL hAvE yOU KNOW THAT EYELINER IS VLAYSAS SDSAS SHIT_

_fro: im sorry what was that_

_dal the pal: stroke_

_milky: NONE OF THOSE NAMES ARE CLASSY FRANK_

_CONDOM NO: what abt me_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: and me_

_frnk: your names are classy already_

_CONDOM NO: o ok_

_tricky rick: CONDOM NO isnt classy_

_bae: but this man totally tops goddamn and what a top is_

_CONDOM NO: I WILL REMIND YOU WE HAVE FUCKED TWO DAMN TIMES_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: and we intend to do it again ;)_

_joosh: so are you gay together or something_

_CONDOM NO: fuck buddies?_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: idk lets go with that_

_CONDOM NO: ok_

_frnk: so whos bringing the alcohol its harder to get than weed_

_bae: ill do it my dad has a stash of it in the basement_

_eyeliner boi: any vodka_

_bae: hell yeah_

_frnk: well then whos got the weed_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: who do you think_

_tricky rick: brendon_

_bae: brendon_

_milky: brendon_

_CONDOM NO: brendon_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: wtf b_

_CONDOM NO: its true tho_

_joosh: ok well then ill order pizza_

_CONDOM NO: put it on my tab they know who i am_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: papa johns?_

_CONDOM NO: daddy ;))_

_tricky rick: NO_

_milky: BLOCKED AND REPORTED_

 


	11. there's enough people here brendon why would you do this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billie, Mike, and Tre of Green Day show up.

_CONDOM NO: i have like four fuckin bags of weed_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: snack size?_

_CONDOM NO: NO! fucking freezer bags_

_CONDOM NO: i had to suck off the weed dealer for the fourth one sorry ry_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: its ok b_

_frnk: who is your weed dude anyway?_

_CONDOM NO: some guy named tre cool_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: sounds like a fake name_

_CONDOM NO: it is_

_bae: wait tre?? tre cool?_

_fro: yeah thats what he said_

_bae: his boyfriend is mike dirnt_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: theyre gay together?? i thought billie was with tre_

_CONDOM NO: lets fuckin ask him then_

_tricky rick: NO BRENDON_

_> > CONDOM NO has invited bob the billder, mike dirt, and tree is very cool to the chat! _

_tricky rick: NO WE HAVE ENOUGH PEOPLE BRENDON WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS  
_

_CONDOM NO: stfu patrick HELLO WEED FRIENDS_

_tree is very cool! HELLO WEED BOY THANKS FOR THE BJ_

_bob the billder: hELLO!!!_

_mike dirt: billie pls calm down_

_bob the billder: nO_

_eyeliner boi: BILLIE! TRE! MIKE! AYEEEEE_

_tree is very cool: AYEEEEEEEE  
_

_bob the billder: AYEEEEEEE_

_mike dirt: AYEEEEEEEEEE_

_eyeliner boi: wait how u no who i am_

_tree is very cool: eyeliner boi?_

_mike dirt: who else could it be_

_frnk: oOOF_

_bae: gonna need some ice for that burn_

_mike dirt: ty frank gerard ty_

_frnk: wait how did u know_

_bob the billder: youre v obvious frank_

_tree is very cool: and we can guess we have brains you know_

_frnk: oh they didn't explode from all the weed? huh_

_tree is very cool: suck my fucking dick_

_bae: UM NO I AM THE OWNER OF THE ONLY DICK HE CAN SUCK TYVM_

_tree very cool: calm sir i only suck billies dick_

_mike dirt: AND MINE EXCUSE ME_

_tree very cool: oh fine you too_

_milky: so are you a threesome_

_mike dirt: polyamory_

_eyeliner boi: THREESOME_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: THREESOME_

_tree is very cool: if you want us at ur party i wanna hear you all say polyamory_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: threesome_

_mike dirt: not coming_

_CONDOM NO: NO WAIT POLYAMORY_

_joosh: polyamory_

_bob the billder: thank you NOW THE REST OF YOU THOTS_

_bae: fiiiine polyamory_

_frnk: if gees doing it im doing it polyamory_

_eyeliner boi: polyTHREESOMEamory_

_bob the billder: close enough thx pete_

_fro: polyamory_

_milky: polyamory fiiiiine_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: OMFGS DOES IT MATTER_

_tree is very cool: yES IT MATTERS FUCKING SAY IT TYVM_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: fiiiine polyamory happy now?_

_mike dirt: yes_


	12. lit as tiT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off of real conversations I have with my friends. Oof. 
> 
> PART TWO of the New Years Eve fiasco. More interesting than chapter 10's shit.

_frnk: tonight's gonna be fun_

_tree is very cool: well as long as brendon kept hold of that weed i gave him_

_CONDOM NO: may have smoked some yesterday_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: fUCK BRENDON HOW MUCH_

_CONDOM NO: a bag???_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: YOU FUCKASS_

_tree is very cool: its ok i can always bring more_

_dal the pal: niceee_

_dal the pal: btw wheres billie_

_eyeliner boi: sssSSSSUP SISTERS ITS PETE WENTZ_

_frnk: nO FUCK OFF_

_frnk: PATRICK WHY ARE YOU DATING THIS DUMBASS_

_tricky rick: idek hes cute when hes not high which is maybe an hour a day_

_eyeliner boi: tru tru_

_mike dirt: hello i am here_

_bob the billder: hE BROUGHT ME TOO WHASSUP MOTHERFUCKERS_

_mike dirt: billie..._

_mike dirt: pls calm down_

_bob the billder: k mike_

_tree is very cool: ANYWAYS_

_tree is very cool: i just snorted powdered sugar_

_tree is very cool: AND MY NOSE IS RUNNING LIKE OMF_

_CONDOM NO: sounds lit can i come over?_

_tree is very cool: pls do_

_bob the billder: mike cant talk rn as he is fussing over tre_

_tree is very cool: is nice_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: im sure_

_CONDOM NO: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP RYAN HMMMMMM_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: legit nothing at all_

_dal the pal: wait. are you guys together or something? i didnt get a straight answer last time_

_joosh: no hetero_

_bob the billder: *gay answer you misspelled it dally my boy_

_> > bob the billder has changed dal the pal's name to dally! _

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: idek really we fuck?? but thats about it_

_CONDOM NO: yeah its kinda fuck buddies_

_joosh: k_

_dally: it doesnt make either of you triggered?_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: no y would it?_

_dally: idk i never understood the whole fuck buddies thing_


	13. party party pAPRTATYGRAVY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what really happened at the party- part one
> 
> shit goes down

_CONDOM NO: YO WHERE TF ARE YOU GUYS THE PARTY STARTS IN 10_

_tricky rick: yeah, in ten so you can wait brendon_

_CONDOM NO: pETE TALK SOME SENSE INTO YOUR BOYFRIEND I HAVE WEED TO SMOKE_

_eyeliner boi: weed? sICK COME ON PATRICK_

_tricky rick: PETE NO_

_eyeliner boi: pETE YES_

_tricky rick: fine we're coming brendon_

_CONDOM NO: HELL YEAH_

_CONDOM NO: RYAN WHERE ARE YOU  
_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: i am literally at your door rn bren_

_CONDOM NO: its open_

_tricky rick: we're here_

_eyeliner boi: WE'RE HERE!_

_tricky rick: yeah i just said that_

_eyeliner boi: LETS GO THERES WEED IN THERE_

_tricky rick: you fucking tripped wtf pete_

_eyeliner boi: r00d_

_tree is very cool: yEE IM COMING WITH MY BITCHES_

_CONDOM NO: GOT ANY BOOZE?_

_tree is very cool: HELL YEAH_

_mike dirt: pls stop yelling_

_tree is very cool: nO_

_bob the billder: YO YO YO IM AT BRENDONS WHERE ARE YOU FUCKERS_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: coming im picking up dallon_

_CONDOM NO: CANT HE WALK WITH THOSE LONG ASS LEGGOS_

_dally: no_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: cOME ON DALLON I WANNA GET HIGH_

_dally: fine fine jesus ryan_

_bob the billder: yall sound like an old married couple_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: dALLON_

_dally: WTF RYAN CALM DOWN IM FIXING MY HAIR_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: YOU LOOK FINE LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: okay dallon finally got his ass in the car are yall there_

_CONDOM NO: 'yall'_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: stfu hoe_

_joosh: HELLO_

_joosh: IM HERE BRENDON OPEN THE DOOR_

_CONDOM NO: ITS OPEN_

_joosh: NO ITS NOT_

_joosh: I TRIED_

_CONDOM NO: TRY NOW_

_joosh: o ok thx_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: WERE FINALLY HERE (DALLON)_

_dally: stfu i want beer_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: WELL YOU WOULD HAVE HAD SOME WAY EARLIER IF YOU HAD MOVED YOUR ASS WHEN I SAID TO_

_dally: stfu i do what i want_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: dont fucking die_

_tricky rick: nO PETE STOP BACKFLIPPING OFF STUFF_

_eyeliner boi: NO FUCK U_

_dally: i do what i want_


	14. pls dont get shitfaced OH NO HE GOT SHITFACED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part two of three of the partyTM

_CONDOM NO: wheres frank and gee arent they here too_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: idk havent heard from them_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: also how are you not shitfaced yet_

_CONDOM NO: this is dallon_

_CONDOM NO: i lost my phone i think billie took it_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: billie_

_bob the billder: yEshseshe_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: oooooh kay_

_tree is very cool: yeah billies HAMMERED but im just hihg so_

_joosh: "hihg"_

_tree is very cool: excuse me hooker did i ask u_

_CONDOM NO: itbs brbendon dalon dstole mey bhone_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: hes shitfaced_

_eyeliner boi: BRENDONE WERES THE WEEDE_

_tricky rick: NO_

_eyeliner boi: YESJ_

_eyeliner boi: wait josh tyler is here for some rfukcin reason_

_CONDOM NO: I HAVE IT_

_> > this man totally tops goddamn and what a top has changed eyeliner boi's name to WEEDE! _

_> > this man totally tops goddamn and what a top has changed CONDOM NO's name to brendone_

_WEEDE: fuk u ryan_

_brendone: fuck me_

_tricky rick: NOPE NO BYE BITCH_

_> > tricky rick has removed brendone from the chat! _

_WEEDE; thansk patrick_

_tricky rick: <33_

_joosh: hes here waht do i doooo_

_tricky rick: are you wasted_

_joosh: no_

_tricky rick: good_

_mike dirt: biLLEI DONT TAKE MEY FOEN WHTF_

_bae: WHASSUP FUCKERS_

_frnk: hye bitches_

_WEEDE: HELLO FRENS_

_frnk: pass the weed dude i want some too_

_WEEDE: get brendon back here patrick_

_tricky rick: uGHHHHHH_

_tricky rick: fine_

_> > tricky rick has invited brendone to the chat! _

_brendone: TRICKY RICK WAHSSUPPPPPP  
_

_tricky rick: no pls_

_tricky rick: PETER LEWIS KINGSTON WENTZ THE THIRD WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU_

_WEEDE: heErere_

_tricky rick: pls dont b as shitfaced as i think you are_

_mike dirt: HE IS_

_tricky rick: * sighs *_

_tricky rick: FUCK_

_bae: GUYS_

_frnk: wht babe_

_bae: GUYS HAVE YOU SEEN JOSH AND TYLER_

_tricky rick: nooo..._

_frnk: OH SHIT THEYRE MAKING OUT HELL YEAH_

_WEEDE: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_

_WEEDE: wait_

_tricky rick: oh shit_

_tree is very cool: GUESS WHO ELSE IS MAKING OUT_

_mike dirt: NOT NOW TRE_

_frnk: RYAN AND DALLON ARE MAKING OUT IN THE CORNER HOLY SHIT_

_brendone: ..._

_brendone: well i have had a good life_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im a mess, im a loser im a hater im a user...  
> but mostly a mESs


	15. the aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SORRY I WAS GONE SO LONG AND THIS IS SHORT BUT I CANT DEAL WITH RYDELLON DRAMA

_brendone: SO_

_Brendone: RYAN IS THERE ANYTHING YOUD LIKE TO SAY_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: yes I have a headache_

_dal the pal: sameeee_

_WEEDE: y'all made out last night_

_dis bich no fun: yALL_

_WEEDE: EAT MY ASS MUKEY_

_dis bich no fun: MUKEY WTF IS A MUKEY_

_> > tricky rick has changed dis bich no fun's name to mukey!_

_Mukey: I will destroy you_

_Tree is very cool: I EAT ASS I EAT ASS I EAT ASS_

_Bob the billder: yeah he does ;)))_

_Mike dirt: biLLIE_

_frnk: um what did Ryan do_

_Tricky rick: well he almost got alcohol poisoning_

_WEEDE: AND THEN HE AND DALLON SUCKED FACE_

_brendone: WTF RYAN_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top:_ _WTF_ _PETE_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: wait brendon why are you so upset_

_brendone: MAYBE BECAUSE WERE IN A FUCKING RELATIOBSHIP_

_dal the pal: shit sorry gotta kms_

_> > dal the pal has left the chat!_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: may I remind you we were never in a relationship To start with_

_Bob the billder: ummmm Brendon he's kinda right_

_brendone: SHUT THE FUCK UP BILLY_

_Bob the billder: * gasp *_

_> >. Bob the billder has removed brendone from the chat!_

_Bob the billder: come back when you can fucking spel_

_Mike dirt: that was spelled wrong_

_Bob the billder: ur lucky I love you_

_Mike dirt: aw thx billy_

_Bob the billder: GOODBYE THOT_

_> > bob the billder has removed mike dirt from the chat!_

_Bob the billder: motherfucker_

_tricky rick: ARE WE ALL JUST GOING TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT DALLON SAID HES GONNA KILL HIMSELF_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: I'm gonna find him make sure he doesn't do anything stupid and shitty_

_brendone: yeah cause you're dating him not me_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: Brendon... Please._

_\-- IN ANOTHER CHAT AND ITS JUST RYAN AND BRENDON --_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: bren... I think we both knew this was gonna blow up in our faces._

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: and we were never in a relationship in the first place, more like friends with benefits, you know?_

_brendone: yeah... i love you though ryan and I know we were never really official but I still do_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: I'm sorry bren_

_Brendone: it's ok. you and dal will make a really fucking cute couple_

_Brendone: plus threesomes_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: BRENDON_


	16. DEEPTHROAT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this during church

_brendone: SO APPARENTLY ITS NOT "PROPER" TO DEEPTHROAT A PUSH POP IN FRONT OF THE #HOT SECURITY GUY_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: Brendon wtf_

_tricky rick: Jesus_

_WEEDE: what flavor was it_

_mukey: thats what you're concerned about?_

_brendone: it was blue raspberry_

_WEEDE: yeah that's ok bUT I like bubble gum better_

_bob the billder: I AM THE LORAX I SPEAK FOR THE WEED_

_Mike dirt: oh billies awake perfect he can suck my dick again_

_Tree is very cool: y'all should have seen the shit we pulled last night at the party_

_frnk: yeah shit went down it was gr8_

_bae: you heard from a vvv drunk tre that I was leaving you so you drank three cans of beer climbed in the oven and sobbed_

_frnk: gr8_

_tree is very cool: yeahhhh that was a highlight of the night_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: what abt the threesome between mike billie and tre_

_Mike dirt: a+ dick sucking_

_tricky rick: tmi_

_> > WEEDE has changed tricky rick's name to lunchbox!_

_lunchbox: dear god why_

_WEEDE: I'm bored_

_lunchbox: of course you are_

_brendone: Peter we must talk_

_WEEDE: the hell you want h0_

_brendone: bubblegum push pops are gross_

_WEEDE: BITCH TAKE THAT SHIT BACK_

_brendone: NO_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: where's Dallon he can fix this_

_WEEDE: TAKE IT BACKKKKK_

_> > lunchbox has invited dal the pal to the chat!_

_dal the pal: Brendon I'm so sorry_

_brendone: it's okay ry explained it to me I get it_

_dal the pal: thank god there's no clusterfuck_

_lunchbox: unless you count pete and Brendon arguing over push pops_

_WEEDE: BUT THE CONTRAST FROM THE PINK TO YOUR LIPS IS HOTTT_

_brendone: BITCH THT IS INCORRECT BLUE RASPBERRY IS THE SHIT ITS SO MUCH BETTER LOOKING AND TASTING_

_mike dirt: like my dick_

_bob the billder: you know it ;))))_

_tree is very cool: come over to my house_

_WEEDE: coming_

_tree is very cool: nO not you mike and Billie so i can suck mikes dick again_

_tree is very cool: cuz I do NOT remember doing it last night_

_lunchbox: can we go back to the fact that Brendon thinks deepthroat is a word_

_brendone: BUT ITS A SONG_

_lunchbox: NO_

_brendone: hUmp mE_

_Tree is very cool: FUCK ME_

_WEEDE: DADDY BETTER MAKE ME CHOKE_

_dal the pal: save us_

_Bob the billder: LICK LICK LICK LICK I WANT TO EAT YO DICK_

_mike dirt: why thanks billie ;))))_

_mukey: GROSS_


	17. kim kardashian hollywood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DAMN IM PRODUCTIVE TODAY

_dal the pal: I'm gonna fucking kill brendon in about a half second_  
  
_brendone: HAHAHAHHAHAHA_  
  
_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: oh lord what happened_  
  
_brendone: DALLON IS PLAYING THE KIM K GAME ON HIS PHONE_  
  
_dal the pal: YOU FUCKING BITCH ASS HOE_  
  
_WEEDE: o dear_  
  
_lunchbox: the Kim kardashian Hollywood game? smh_  
  
_Tree is very cool: Billie and mike played it at one point_  
  
_Bob the billder: ngl it was a great game_  
  
_Mike dirt: you married me on it_  
  
_Bob the billder: i wanted to marry tre too but he didn't get the game_  
  
_lunchbox: y?_  
  
_Tree is very cool: not enough storage_  
  
_dal the pal: what??_  
  
_Tree is very cool: let's just say hentai is h0t_  
  
_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: YOU DOWNLOADED HENTAI PORN ONTO YOUR PHONE TRE WTF_  
  
_tree is very cool: in my defense gay hentai is hard to come by_  
  
_WEEDE: HEARD OF PORNHUB_  
  
_tree is very cool; ITS HARD TO FIND GOOD GAY HENTAI THESE DAYS_  
  
_mike dirt: just call me I'll get you off ;))))_  
  
_tree is very cool: noted thx mike_  
  
_> > WEEDE changed mike dirt's name to tre's personal pornhub! _  
  
_tre's personal pornhub: thanks pete_  
  
_dal the pal: I can't believe you exposed me bren_  
  
_brendone: did it for the vine_

_tre's personal pornhub: are none of yall gonna say threesome_

_WEEDE: THREESOME_

_tre's personal pornhub: anyone but you pete pls_

_lunchbox: wait googling_

_lunchbox: according to the official kim k game wiki you can be in relationships with as many people as you want_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: welp patrick has it on his phone too_

_lunchbox: RYAN NO_

_WEEDE: PATRICK YOU FUCKER_

_WEEDE: wait ryan is he in a kim k relationship with somebody_

_this man totally tops goddamn and what a top: no surprisingly_

_lunchbox: i hate you all_

_> > WEEDE changed lunchbox's name to the kim k wiki! _

_the kim k wiki: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe_


	18. the kim k game wiki has left the chat!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a mess

_dal the pal: hello motherfuckers_

_> > brendone has changed his name to ᗪ卂ᗪᗪㄚ Ҝ丨几Ҝ ;)!   
_

_lunchbox: wtf is that font_

_WEEDE: bitch i want that_

_ᗪ卂ᗪᗪㄚ Ҝ丨几Ҝ ;): you fucking wish pete youll never find my secrets  
_

_mukey: lingojam.com/fontchanger_

_ᗪ卂ᗪᗪㄚ Ҝ丨几Ҝ ;): MIKEY YOU BASTARD  
_

_WEEDE: HAHAHAHAHHA BRENDON YOU TWOFACED SLUT I HAVE IT_

_ᗪ卂ᗪᗪㄚ Ҝ丨几Ҝ ;): BITCHHHH  
_

_bob the billder: i think its time we had a change up_

_> > bob the billder has changed dal the pal's name to daldo! _

_daldo: fuck you_

_> > bob the billder has changed this man is a top goddamn and what a top's name to ryroo! _

_ᗪ卂ᗪᗪㄚ Ҝ丨几Ҝ ;): aww thats cute  
_

_daldo: oof yeah_

_ryroo: fuck you_

_> > bob the billder has changed their name to 50% weed! _

_the kim k game wiki: WTFFF_

_> > WEEDE has changed their name to meme wentz! _

_meme wentz: yas fuck it up billie_

_50% weed: y thank you peter_

_ᗪ卂ᗪᗪㄚ Ҝ丨几Ҝ ;): pillie  
_

_> > the kim k game wiki has left the chat! _

_ᗪ卂ᗪᗪㄚ Ҝ丨几Ҝ ;): what?  
_

_daldo: YOU FUCKING IDIOT BRENDON WHAT THE HELL_

_ᗪ卂ᗪᗪㄚ Ҝ丨几Ҝ ;): WHAT DID I DOOOO  
_

_50% weed: omf im stupid but jesus christ brenodn_

_ᗪ卂ᗪᗪㄚ Ҝ丨几Ҝ ;): WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW MISSPELLING MY NAME HUH BILLY_

_50% weed: * gasp * I THOUGHT WE TALKED ABOUT THIS_

_ᗪ卂ᗪᗪㄚ Ҝ丨几Ҝ ;): FUCK YOU_

_> > 50% weed has changed ᗪ卂ᗪᗪㄚ Ҝ丨几Ҝ ;)'s name to brenodn! _

_brenodn: YOU MOTHERFUCKER_

_ryroo: PETE_

_meme wentz: IM TRYING TO FIND PATRICK_

_meme wentz: HE WONT ANSWER MY TEXTS OR MY CALLS_

_daldo: brendon oh my god_

_meme wentz: brendon youre gonna die when i find patrick_

_> > meme wentz has invited the kim k game wiki to the chat! _

_meme wentz: PATTY_

_the kim k game wiki: PETEY_

_daldo: yay theyre reunited_

_the kim k game: AND NOW IM GONNA KILL BRENDON_


	19. last fic i expected to die

50% weed: we need to spice shit up in here

>> 50% weed has changed the Kim k game's name to cute potato!

>> 50% weed has changed meme Wentz's name to emo potato!

>> 50% weed has changed daldo's name to tall potato!

>> 50% weed has changed their name to rocker potato!

>> rocker potato has changed tre's personal pornhub's name to bass potato!

>> rocker potato has changed tree is very cool's name to drum potato!

>> rocker potato has changed bae's name to goth potato!

goth potato: bitch

tall potato: you ain't a fuckin rocker

rocker potato: stop being a dream breaker

>> rocker potato has changed mukey's name to salty potato!

Salty potato: BISH YOU WISH

>> rocker potato has changed frnk's name to short potato!

short potato: are you quite finished

cute potato: Awwww thanks billie

rocker potato: ur welcome pat :)

emo potato: hEY NOW

goth potato: I don't like my name

rocker potato: OH WAIT

>> rocker potato changed ryroo's name to scarf potato!

>> rocker potato changed breodn's name to gay potato!

Rocker potato: k we good now

Bass potato: no billie

Drum potato: yES billie

emo potato: wtf tre youre not billie

Gay potato: ur not wrong billie

Scarf potato: FUCK I LOOK GOOD

Tall potato: hmmmmmm k

Scarf potato: * gasp * UR SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE YOU WHORE

cute potato: no dont fight pls

Rocker potato: yeah you guys are scaring pat

Emo potato: aw HELL no

Emo potato: only i can call him pat fuck off billie

Bass potato: hey now is petey jealous

Salty potato: pete you look stupid just let it be

Emo potato: FUCK OFF MIKEU

drum potato: omfg pete

Rocker potato: TRE NO

>> drum potato has changed salty potato's name to mikeu!

mikeu: pete ur so protective wtf billies just pats friend lmao

emo potato: YOU DONT FUCKING GET IT DO YOU BILLIE YOU FCKTARD

>> emo potato has left the chat!

rocker potato: wtf?? what did i do

cute potato: hes protective it's okay billie

tall potato: wtf why you love him Patrick

cute potato: he just gets convinced that I'll leave him that hes not good enough

scarf potato: but like... U wouldn't

cute potato: exactly! he just doesn't think that

goth potato: what??? but he's like

goth potato: a fukin emo legend

Drum potato:'so r u gonna tell him ur breaking up in person or what

Cute potato: tRE WERE NOT BREAKING UP OMF

scarf potato: yeAH IN PERSON * cough cough * bREN

Gay potato: YOU WERE OUT OF TOWN WTF WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO RYAN

scarf potato: CALL ME????

gay potato: aNYWAY holy fuckin shit peterick was the last ship I expected to die

cute potato: fuck you lot im adding pete in again

>> cute potato has invited emo potato to the chat!

Rocker potato: YO PETEY PIE PATRICK HERE HAS TO TELL YOU SOMETHING

bass potato: OMF BILLIE NO

drum potato: heard y'all are breaking up

Mikeu: tre no

Emo potato: wtf?? pat?

Cute potato: no Pete it's not what u think

Emo potato: u fuxking kidding me rn? couldn't tell me in person could you??

Cute potato: Pete please I'm trying to tell you

Emo potato: seems to me I already know

Emo potato: thanks Patrick

>> Cute potato has left the chat!

Bass potato: PETE THIS IS TRES FAULT

Drum potato: i resent that

Bass potato: stfu

Gay potato: TRE JUST ASSUMED THAT YOU AND PATRICK WERE BREAKING UP BUT ITS NOT TRUE

bass potato: CUZ UR ALL PROTECTIVE N SHIT CUZ INSECURITY IS A BITCH AM I RIGHT

short potato: u sir are correct

tall potato: darn tootin

gay potato: dallon...??

tall potato: darn tootin

Scarf potato: tRE NO

>> drum potato has changed the chat name to darn tootin!

Tall potato: sooooo fuck me in the ass cause I love jesussss

Gay potato: can I get an amen

Drum potato: a WOman

Rocker potato: feminism

 


	20. peterick ain't dead yet hoes

Pete Wentz has invited Patrick Stump to the chat! 

Pete Wentz: would you like to explain what's going on rn 

Patrick Stump: Pete, I don't wanna break up with you. Tre assumed we were after you left the chat the first time. 

Patrick Stump: and I love you, Pete, but that was a dick move. 

Pete Wentz: I know, I'm sorry 

Patrick Stump: you had better fucking be 

Pete Wentz: I just thought you had finally realized that Billie is better than me. 

Patrick: he's not, and I love you, Pete. Nothing will ever change that. 

Pete Wentz: love u patty 

Patrick Stump: call me patty again and I'm gonna really dump ur ass 

Pete Wentz: no patty im sorry 

Patrick Stump: I'm going to kill you.

**Author's Note:**

> again please indulge with me


End file.
